I ate a whole to go container of the most delicious squash soup.
The next morning drove to work as always. I felt the poop coming on and stopped at a qt. The stalls were full.
Got back in my car, now just 10 minutes from work. Parked in a no parking zone in front and pinch walked into the building, every step pushing out a little more poop.
Just as I reached the bathroom door, the pod bay door opened (thanks Hal). Threw the stall door open and as I was sitting down the whole container of undigested soup shot out, a lot of it in my pants.
Now I had a real problem. How was I gonna clean this up, enough to get me back to the car?
I took off my shirt and sopped up most of the poop with it. I took off my underwear and rolled it up in my shirt. Cleaned out my pants as much as I could. Then put on my winter coat (What if this had happened in summer? Or if the stalls had all been full?) and ran out of the building, past the door guard.