Soupy Poopy

I ate a whole to go container of the most delicious squash soup. The next morning drove to work as always. I felt the poop coming on and stopped at a qt. The stalls were full. Got back in my car, now just 10 minutes from work. Parked in a no parking zone in front…More

Beach Blast ⛱️ 💩

Yesterday was supposed to be chill. I woke up, had a normal breakfast, and later ate a peach for lunch—which, in hindsight, might not have been washed as thoroughly as it should’ve been. That may have been where this saga began. Anyway, I went down to the beach for a quick swim—just 15 or 20…More

Never trust a fart when you’re stuck in traffic 💨 💩

Okay, so let me tell you what happened to me the other day because it was honestly one of the worst and most ridiculous moments of my life. So, I’m driving to this thing—it’s about an hour away if traffic is chill. I left on time, everything was fine at first, and I was just…More

The Laxative Chronicles: A Tale of Ice Cream and Regret 🍦

The rumble started as a subtle complaint, a gurgle of discontent somewhere in the lower reaches of my abdomen. A week – seven whole days – had passed since my last successful trip to the porcelain throne. At first, the situation was an inconvenience, then a discomfort. Now, it felt like I’d swallowed a particularly…More

The Beach and The Bellyache 🏖️

Alright, so I’ve got a story for you. It’s about one of those moments that, in hindsight, is absolutely hilarious, but at the time, I’m not gonna lie—it felt like an absolute emergency. You know, one of those “my life is flashing before my eyes” types of situations, only it wasn’t an ex or a…More

The morning poop and how I found my keys 💩 🔑

I was on my way to work. Normally it’s a 40-minute drive, but there was an accident on a bridge, so I had to sit tight for the time being. The minutes passed. The comfortable morning dump threshold was reaching critical mass after the daily energy drink and breakfast burrito. I’d been sitting in traffic…More

The “Log” Drive Home 🪵 💩

The Long Log Drive Home In 2018, my partner was returning home after a long trip to Europe. It had been several weeks since I’d seen her, and I was beyond excited for her to finally come home. I decided to drive to pick her up at the airport, a two-and-a-half-hour journey from where we…More

The Birth of a Shitcident 👩‍🍼

Parenthood is a wild ride. One minute, you’re young, carefree, and sleeping through the night, and the next, you’re calibrating your entire life around nap schedules, diaper blowouts, and car seat tantrums. We were living this reality firsthand with our newborn daughter and potty-training toddler. Both sets of our families lived three hours away—far enough…More