24 hours earlier… Mike and I are making our way downtown, driving fast, faces pass, headed to Georgia. About three hours in, the urge hits — a bowelquake. Like a true American, my body refuses to perform in public restrooms. It’s like TSA for poop: “Sorry, ma’am, you’re not cleared for takeoff.” At our midway…More
Category Archives: Car Poop Stories
How I shat in a plastic bag in my mom’s car on the highway, threw it out the window and lost my wallet in the process 🚗 💵 💩
A week ago I had my first traumatizing poop experience. Here’s the story. It’s gonna be long so grab a drink or something. Last weekend I stayed over at my mom’s to spend time with her and to celebrate my birthday with my family. She gave me a ride back home, which is an hour…More
Soupy Poopy
I ate a whole to go container of the most delicious squash soup. The next morning drove to work as always. I felt the poop coming on and stopped at a qt. The stalls were full. Got back in my car, now just 10 minutes from work. Parked in a no parking zone in front…More
Walmart Special on Maxi-Pads and my horrifying experience pooping in a bag 🛍️ 💩
My wife told me this story last week: So I’m driving with our kid in the car, just doing regular stuff, when out of nowhere—BAM—my stomach cramps up so hard I almost had to pull over right then and there. I’m talking about that violent kind of pain that makes you go cold, start sweating,…More
Never trust a fart when you’re stuck in traffic 💨 💩
Okay, so let me tell you what happened to me the other day because it was honestly one of the worst and most ridiculous moments of my life. So, I’m driving to this thing—it’s about an hour away if traffic is chill. I left on time, everything was fine at first, and I was just…More
The morning poop and how I found my keys 💩 🔑
I was on my way to work. Normally it’s a 40-minute drive, but there was an accident on a bridge, so I had to sit tight for the time being. The minutes passed. The comfortable morning dump threshold was reaching critical mass after the daily energy drink and breakfast burrito. I’d been sitting in traffic…More
The “Log” Drive Home 🪵 💩
The Long Log Drive Home In 2018, my partner was returning home after a long trip to Europe. It had been several weeks since I’d seen her, and I was beyond excited for her to finally come home. I decided to drive to pick her up at the airport, a two-and-a-half-hour journey from where we…More
The Birth of a Shitcident 👩🍼
Parenthood is a wild ride. One minute, you’re young, carefree, and sleeping through the night, and the next, you’re calibrating your entire life around nap schedules, diaper blowouts, and car seat tantrums. We were living this reality firsthand with our newborn daughter and potty-training toddler. Both sets of our families lived three hours away—far enough…More
The School Pickup Poopocalypse 🚗💩
Let me set the scene: It’s a typical afternoon in the school pickup line. We’re parked, bumper to bumper, about ten minutes before dismissal. Cars are stacked behind us, no room to maneuver. In the back seat, my five-year-old, Oliver, is blissfully absorbed in a game on his tablet. Oliver: “I need to poop.” Me:…More