24 hours earlier… Mike and I are making our way downtown, driving fast, faces pass, headed to Georgia. About three hours in, the urge hits — a bowelquake. Like a true American, my body refuses to perform in public restrooms. It’s like TSA for poop: “Sorry, ma’am, you’re not cleared for takeoff.” At our midway…More
Category Archives: Embarrassing Poop Stories
Scrub-a-dub Bubble 🛁 💩
Parenthood is full of firsts — first steps, first words, first foods. Some are heartwarming. Some are hilarious. And some… well, some you’d rather forget. Up until this particular summer day, I was riding a high. My two-year-old had managed to make it through toddlerhood with no major incidents in the tub. No floaters. No…More
A river runs through him 💩 🚣🏼
It started like any other leisurely kayak outing. My brother and I had decided to spend the afternoon paddling around the lake, pretending we were rugged explorers instead of two suburbanites with water bottles and SPF 50 sunscreen. The weather was perfect — blue sky, a soft breeze, and the gentle lapping of water against…More
The Chocolate Mistake 🍫 💩
It was a cold January morning, and I was getting ready for school like any other day. I had a normal breakfast, packed my bag, and before heading out, I saw a piece of chocolate on the kitchen counter. Without thinking, I grabbed it and ate it as a little treat. Big mistake. About 15…More
Walmart Special on Maxi-Pads and my horrifying experience pooping in a bag 🛍️ 💩
My wife told me this story last week: So I’m driving with our kid in the car, just doing regular stuff, when out of nowhere—BAM—my stomach cramps up so hard I almost had to pull over right then and there. I’m talking about that violent kind of pain that makes you go cold, start sweating,…More
The Beach and The Bellyache 🏖️
Alright, so I’ve got a story for you. It’s about one of those moments that, in hindsight, is absolutely hilarious, but at the time, I’m not gonna lie—it felt like an absolute emergency. You know, one of those “my life is flashing before my eyes” types of situations, only it wasn’t an ex or a…More
The morning poop and how I found my keys 💩 🔑
I was on my way to work. Normally it’s a 40-minute drive, but there was an accident on a bridge, so I had to sit tight for the time being. The minutes passed. The comfortable morning dump threshold was reaching critical mass after the daily energy drink and breakfast burrito. I’d been sitting in traffic…More