For months, my wife, daughters, and I had been looking forward to our family trip to Orlando, Florida. We’d planned it meticulously, booked our stay early, researched all the best attractions, and at the top of our list — even above the theme parks — was this one water resort. It had rave reviews, wild…More
Category Archives: Funny Poop Stories
A river runs through him 💩 🚣🏼
It started like any other leisurely kayak outing. My brother and I had decided to spend the afternoon paddling around the lake, pretending we were rugged explorers instead of two suburbanites with water bottles and SPF 50 sunscreen. The weather was perfect — blue sky, a soft breeze, and the gentle lapping of water against…More
How I shat in a plastic bag in my mom’s car on the highway, threw it out the window and lost my wallet in the process 🚗 💵 💩
A week ago I had my first traumatizing poop experience. Here’s the story. It’s gonna be long so grab a drink or something. Last weekend I stayed over at my mom’s to spend time with her and to celebrate my birthday with my family. She gave me a ride back home, which is an hour…More
Never trust a fart when you’re stuck in traffic 💨 💩
Okay, so let me tell you what happened to me the other day because it was honestly one of the worst and most ridiculous moments of my life. So, I’m driving to this thing—it’s about an hour away if traffic is chill. I left on time, everything was fine at first, and I was just…More
The Laxative Chronicles: A Tale of Ice Cream and Regret 🍦
The rumble started as a subtle complaint, a gurgle of discontent somewhere in the lower reaches of my abdomen. A week – seven whole days – had passed since my last successful trip to the porcelain throne. At first, the situation was an inconvenience, then a discomfort. Now, it felt like I’d swallowed a particularly…More
The Beach and The Bellyache 🏖️
Alright, so I’ve got a story for you. It’s about one of those moments that, in hindsight, is absolutely hilarious, but at the time, I’m not gonna lie—it felt like an absolute emergency. You know, one of those “my life is flashing before my eyes” types of situations, only it wasn’t an ex or a…More
The morning poop and how I found my keys 💩 🔑
I was on my way to work. Normally it’s a 40-minute drive, but there was an accident on a bridge, so I had to sit tight for the time being. The minutes passed. The comfortable morning dump threshold was reaching critical mass after the daily energy drink and breakfast burrito. I’d been sitting in traffic…More
The Birth of a Shitcident 👩🍼
Parenthood is a wild ride. One minute, you’re young, carefree, and sleeping through the night, and the next, you’re calibrating your entire life around nap schedules, diaper blowouts, and car seat tantrums. We were living this reality firsthand with our newborn daughter and potty-training toddler. Both sets of our families lived three hours away—far enough…More
Cookie Catastrophe 🍪💩
It seemed like a normal Monday night at the frat house. We had just wrapped up our weekly meeting and were gearing up for Monday Night Football on the veranda when our sister sorority, the Kappa Deltas, wandered in with a massive plate of chocolate chip cookies—a special delivery for a couple of our brothers.…More
The School Pickup Poopocalypse 🚗💩
Let me set the scene: It’s a typical afternoon in the school pickup line. We’re parked, bumper to bumper, about ten minutes before dismissal. Cars are stacked behind us, no room to maneuver. In the back seat, my five-year-old, Oliver, is blissfully absorbed in a game on his tablet. Oliver: “I need to poop.” Me:…More