The rumble started as a subtle complaint, a gurgle of discontent somewhere in the lower reaches of my abdomen. A week – seven whole days – had passed since my last successful trip to the porcelain throne. At first, the situation was an inconvenience, then a discomfort. Now, it felt like I’d swallowed a particularly…More
Tag Archives: funny poop stories
The Beach and The Bellyache 🏖️
Alright, so I’ve got a story for you. It’s about one of those moments that, in hindsight, is absolutely hilarious, but at the time, I’m not gonna lie—it felt like an absolute emergency. You know, one of those “my life is flashing before my eyes” types of situations, only it wasn’t an ex or a…More
The morning poop and how I found my keys 💩 🔑
I was on my way to work. Normally it’s a 40-minute drive, but there was an accident on a bridge, so I had to sit tight for the time being. The minutes passed. The comfortable morning dump threshold was reaching critical mass after the daily energy drink and breakfast burrito. I’d been sitting in traffic…More
The “Log” Drive Home 🪵 💩
The Long Log Drive Home In 2018, my partner was returning home after a long trip to Europe. It had been several weeks since I’d seen her, and I was beyond excited for her to finally come home. I decided to drive to pick her up at the airport, a two-and-a-half-hour journey from where we…More
Brown Sands, New Mexico 🌵💩
It was a bright, cloudless morning when we pulled into White Sands National Park, excited for a day of sledding and exploration. The dunes stretched out before us like a blinding ocean of snow, soft and endless. The kids were already bouncing in the backseat, eager to tumble down the hills and dig to their…More
The Birth of a Shitcident 👩🍼
Parenthood is a wild ride. One minute, you’re young, carefree, and sleeping through the night, and the next, you’re calibrating your entire life around nap schedules, diaper blowouts, and car seat tantrums. We were living this reality firsthand with our newborn daughter and potty-training toddler. Both sets of our families lived three hours away—far enough…More
Cookie Catastrophe 🍪💩
It seemed like a normal Monday night at the frat house. We had just wrapped up our weekly meeting and were gearing up for Monday Night Football on the veranda when our sister sorority, the Kappa Deltas, wandered in with a massive plate of chocolate chip cookies—a special delivery for a couple of our brothers.…More
The School Pickup Poopocalypse 🚗💩
Let me set the scene: It’s a typical afternoon in the school pickup line. We’re parked, bumper to bumper, about ten minutes before dismissal. Cars are stacked behind us, no room to maneuver. In the back seat, my five-year-old, Oliver, is blissfully absorbed in a game on his tablet. Oliver: “I need to poop.” Me:…More
My Birthday Blowout 🎂 💩(Literally)
My Birthday Blowout Birthdays are supposed to be special. A day of celebration, of cake, of guilt-free indulgence. But as a father of three, with a wife and a dog, I should’ve known better than to expect a day off. What I didn’t expect, however, was a full-blown household-wide diarrhea apocalypse. The day started before…More