For months, my wife, daughters, and I had been looking forward to our family trip to Orlando, Florida. We’d planned it meticulously, booked our stay early, researched all the best attractions, and at the top of our list — even above the theme parks — was this one water resort. It had rave reviews, wild…More
Tag Archives: kid poop stories
Scrub-a-dub Bubble 🛁 💩
Parenthood is full of firsts — first steps, first words, first foods. Some are heartwarming. Some are hilarious. And some… well, some you’d rather forget. Up until this particular summer day, I was riding a high. My two-year-old had managed to make it through toddlerhood with no major incidents in the tub. No floaters. No…More
How I shat in a plastic bag in my mom’s car on the highway, threw it out the window and lost my wallet in the process 🚗 💵 💩
A week ago I had my first traumatizing poop experience. Here’s the story. It’s gonna be long so grab a drink or something. Last weekend I stayed over at my mom’s to spend time with her and to celebrate my birthday with my family. She gave me a ride back home, which is an hour…More
Brown Sands, New Mexico 🌵💩
It was a bright, cloudless morning when we pulled into White Sands National Park, excited for a day of sledding and exploration. The dunes stretched out before us like a blinding ocean of snow, soft and endless. The kids were already bouncing in the backseat, eager to tumble down the hills and dig to their…More
The Birth of a Shitcident 👩🍼
Parenthood is a wild ride. One minute, you’re young, carefree, and sleeping through the night, and the next, you’re calibrating your entire life around nap schedules, diaper blowouts, and car seat tantrums. We were living this reality firsthand with our newborn daughter and potty-training toddler. Both sets of our families lived three hours away—far enough…More
The School Pickup Poopocalypse 🚗💩
Let me set the scene: It’s a typical afternoon in the school pickup line. We’re parked, bumper to bumper, about ten minutes before dismissal. Cars are stacked behind us, no room to maneuver. In the back seat, my five-year-old, Oliver, is blissfully absorbed in a game on his tablet. Oliver: “I need to poop.” Me:…More
My Birthday Blowout 🎂 💩(Literally)
My Birthday Blowout Birthdays are supposed to be special. A day of celebration, of cake, of guilt-free indulgence. But as a father of three, with a wife and a dog, I should’ve known better than to expect a day off. What I didn’t expect, however, was a full-blown household-wide diarrhea apocalypse. The day started before…More